Spooky Cake

Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Well you know I've been fed up today (rankings are spanking) so I thought to turn some of that negative energy of cake demolition into a positive ghoulish gateau... it's not too bad!
Nigella I don't think you have to worry yet!

Halloween Tales... Eerie

Take a look, my advice suspend all polar expeditions until tomorrow;) I shall now have to unpack the cake sleigh.

Festival of Romance - Romantic Weekend

Nearly time for a romantic weekend! Check out all the fun stuff going on and vote for me as a newbie writer! Blatant plea, but you know me as subtle as a Sarah Palin lobbying at an anti-firearms peace rally!

Drats at my STATs - TOP 10?

It's looking like a very long week with cake, solace in the form of a pastry/s/baker's time share - are things that bad?
Can my readers save my waistline? I can't even bring myself to mention the overall rank:(((( alas fair readers where have I gone? Are my dreams dashed forever away from the TOP #10?

Kermit The Frog - JAZZ Lesson!

Mr Henson we salute you, watch this rare clip it's groovy! Deep man... it's gonna erase us!
I can't help feeling there's a Doctor Who episode lurking in here ready for adaption!

Does this mean Mars was...

If this is what happens after excessive tourism, think ahead people. I'm off to Jupiter's moons. Must have been Easy Jets first commercial route then... Have we gone backwards?! So are we going to find remnants of a clubbing strip? Next time we see curiosity he'll be having a margarita with Martian Dust chaser... MARS the ultimate space club.

Hahaaaa Hooooo Heeeee Hey! Assseoooo - Say hello to Mr Future

Morning Folks,

Couldn't resist sharing this video. Funny Stuff.


Tuesday, 30 October 2012

You know how I love to see who's following me ( a little ego rubbing in this sugar low point in the afternoon! I might venture towards that big cake soon) And today's new followers are Cyprus, last week it was Nepal now Cyprus. Hello Cyprians xxx You've always got good beach weather for my books;)


"She’s slipperier than an eel in a telemarketers oil drum."
Not sure it works but the imagery makes me giggle for some reason, it's a little nonsensical but don't we all get infuriated with the endless phone calls? I know I do, upgrading to what for what and why no thanks. Did you hear about the guy who started charging a telesales company for his time, genius sent them a bill and went to court.


I would if I could but boy those rankings have to improve... not a great week so far :( I have vowed to not post the rankings until they look rosier and then the positive spams will once more erupt.
Of course my preference would be onboard "the enterprise" with a captain that had mildly pointed ears, in lieu of that must go and do sit-ups if to wear authentic costume!


Ooooo You've visited lots of times today, how's it going with the Tulips? I do my best baking with my big strong Dutch Friend;)


Just browsing thru my stats and can see a lot of you still checking in from the USA... bloody well done and thanks for following. Hope you're all safe and cosy xxx We're all thinking of you over here xxx

Skyfall- Biggest Opening Weekend EVER

Got to go and see JB... his posters are surrounding CPH's Metro works at the mo, driving past a giant Bond laying on his side with that gun got me all flustered. Must quickly write hot scene for Book 3 which has equally as glamorous settings!?!?  Any of you getting excited for it's release?

Kindle V Mini-Ipad

Food for thought readers!

But to be quite honest, anything you read my book on is welcome pixel loaded or inferior pixels, for goodness sake I don't mind if you use an Etch-a-Sketch. (Do not think about Breaking Bad's uses for our beloved E-Oh_Sk!  Bit explosive)

SANDY USA- Keep Safe

Hallo Readers and Fans Stateside,
Take care, keep warm and safe. We're all watching Sandy and hope you stay unaffected (as much as possible) by the super-storm. xxx Don't take unnecessary risks it's not a surfing opportunity! Yes there is a video on Utube?

Does A Book Have a Shelf life?!

Ohhh... my little star is slipping from it's sky, it doesn't take up much room. Help it shine again xxx

Easy Rider - Middle America Missing out?

Monday, 29 October 2012

Both parties seem to have missed out middle America on their trails, could it be that Easy Rider lives on. Hell no not rednecks surely? Mitt get on your chopper!


Hello Publishing Houses,
Now is your chance to grab independent authors while they're still hungering for the print!
Looks like you're getting the Microsoft if publishing houses here.


And FL's doing equally as well stateside! Thx All
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #14,741 Paid in Kindle Store


Fighting Love's doing splendidly but Moving Up's moved so far down... ouch. If FL can get to where MUOM was I'll be happy... swings and roundabouts

Google's Matrix in Pictures

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Actually a lot more colourful and astounding than Neo's. Happy Primary Matrix no less!

Heston Blumenthal's Crazy world

Just no Heston, no! Nothing is more off putting that what reminds us of why we go temporarily mad every month! Palate cleanser not for us girls!

Shades of Grey Review- Victoria Coren

You gotta love this woman, poker player, bright, naughty and very very funny.
Ok Ok... my ranks have gone down, just making myself feel better. If you ever fancy a game of neutral Kalooki I'll pop up to Edgware road (I really don't fancy my chances against a Top playing Poker Champion)

Amazon.com USA

Calling any kindly Americans ?!
Anyone read Fighting Love? It's 1 review is lonely by itself!

Amazon Update- Urgent

Friday, 26 October 2012

Remember to update your Amazon- Kindle, Nook /Smashwords versions of my books before you review:)
We all know about my little grammatical challenges so make sure you have the proof read edited versions before you throw your worthy swords down gentleman of the chicklit! Have a great weekend all followers and may the grammatical forces be with your devices:)

Easy Jet-New Customers THE VIKINGS

Was Easy-Vikingeskibe-jet operating in times yonder? Funny to think that the Vikings come in all sorts of shapes and sizes! Think this little guy has quite a cool name.

Weekend Kindle Competition

Something to warm your blood up before Halloween;) I'm running the same competition that proved so successful last month. Send me your delivery/gift e-mail for a free copy of Fighting Love after answering this simple question. Join in the fun or speed read MUOM xxx

Remember the question is about "Moving Up On Manolo's"
What is Nicholas's dogs name? 

There's no way you can forget Nicholas, can you!

Danish Drama is Top of the List- Join IN now!

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Here's your chance to get involved with one of those cool Scandinavian Director types, no not Von Trier with his penchant for cutting things off (ooouchoooww) but the emBORG. Copenhagen's very own answer to Gervias/Izzard/Wes. Spread the word and you could become part of a phenomenon that is "public producing what the public wants, and the public gets what the public likes..." Danish Pastries and Lego Heads. I'll have to come up with a better tag-line...
Google Translate... English version coming soon!

Swingers Sex Discrimination! Only Denmark Reports such objectiveness

It's one rules for guys and another for girls! That ain't on in CPH! Don't forget this is a country where everyone pay taxes, no one judges on what you get your money for as long as trading standards and equality are respected. So woman get your purses out! Maybe a little bit too liberal for you republicans but you have to admire the organisation, they even have a home page on it's tax laws. Shades of Grey activities are taxable;)


Danes are measured and sensible with their approach to life and all that a progressive society means, so you might not be surprised to find Lille Danmark would be the biggest supporter of Obama globally if they had the vote! USA take heed, this guy is so much more popular then the rejected 1950's TOWIE cast member. Obama also knows where stuff is, like the international community...ie COUNTRIES:)

Mitt Romney STUNNING cameo TOWIE

Well he has his priorities right, spray tan or general knowledge... I'll have a spray tan thanks, that's always key in winning debates! He should get a Brain-jazzle and liven up the grey matter perhaps?!

James Bond- Which one grossed the most?

Carrying on the JB theme, this is quite a groovy pc from BBC.

VOGUE for Teddybears

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Which is your favourite? I'm split between Pucci, VW and Tom Ford!
Remember if you're passing through London pop into Selfridges and met them in person.

Superman's Blog Coming SOON

We could really be looking at the world of Superman soon, he may become one of us (as his daytime guise) What do you think Superman would blog about? And no not according to SOG fans Lois's preferred lingerie would get a blog of it's own... How to avoid X-ray vision with the proper M&S not S&M pants! Ooo I wonder if MArks and SParks have thought of that lille spoonerism for marketing?!?!

Republicans v Democracy + Women's rights

Can't believe my ears but it seems to be quite a consensus in the Republican party, I do believe Women will vote for the Dems even if they were swaying towards the repulsive... I mean the Republicans.


Alas :( Will I ever get into the TOP #10?!? I'll do a deal with the devil, I don't care if I never get into those skinny jeans again! The clues in the name FAR TOO skinny.. what's the point just buy right size comfortable fit style! I believe Levi's are missing out on a marketing trick for normal women there.
Not Skinny JUST RIGHT!


Please click on the link and see what the rest of the world also thinks (not just me! A dizzy girl in a binder slumped in a typing pool ready to comb my bosses retro hair ;)

Conrad Black = P.S.H = Oscar

Can anyone else see the P.S. Hoffman in this Role... I envisaged easily. I think ol' Phil could do a better job at it!

3-D Printing at Home - Reality

It will be an exciting day when you can design your own outfit before you go out, perfect for woman who know exactly what they want in their minds but the shops never stock it. We've all had that experience, I'm guessing there will be a lot more CAD self taughts among us!

Pirates V Fairies- Available now!

or if you prefer a physical book, but watch who knows what might leap from the pages!

Kindle in Waterstones NOW!

Now all I have to do is get those digital pages to jump onto Waterstones physical shelves, any takers publishers? You know you're just twiddling your thumbs this lunchtime, now thinking about the mini-Ipad's impact on your print issues!

James Bond Future Villains?! мачо методы сошел с ума

He loves posing for the camera's wonder which school of theatre he practices? Method, definitely da methods...мачо методы сошел с ума

007 Is this his scariest Nemesis yet?

Javier always guaranteed to spook up the most sinister of psycho characters... Can't wait to get freaked out like an old man looking for a country!

Skyfall- 007's Back

Not too shabby The Royal Albert Hall! ~Excited to see the film:)

Eddie Izzard v Mitt Romney

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Now I'd pay to watch those 2 debate!

USA Take Heed- MITT rainbow GAY

Even animated characters are scared of Mr Mitten! I heard he doesn't even like rainbows?! How can you vote for someone who doesn't like the colour of Life?!

Tetris V OCD

Is it a wonder what becomes addictive or not?

How to Choose an Original Book Title in 3 easy Marketable steps

Where-Oh-Where is that TOP # 10 spot... (hear my pitiful sobs in the background searching for the gin) Will be the title of my next book!

Apple's Mini-Pad Launch

Apart from sounding like a sanitary towel for Ladies, this is exciting! More ways to read these (MY) e-books, more comfortable to travel with and a lot easier on the purse strings. Whoopee.
For an unforgettable product launch why don't the marketing team actually launch it, send it to the space station, or up with Felix Baumgartner?

Obama Tweets to Success

I'm not swaying into politics, I don't live in the USA but implore you all to choose a man that understands the world at large, the bigger picture, well at least one who understands how to look at a map of the world! Mr Romney makes Forrest Gump look like he discovered the Higgs Boson! Remember Ladies you are not just in Binders!

Whales Mimic Humans-Amazing

Although I think the Beluga Whale is just messing with our minds, this was recorded at the end of a Saturday night out in Dublin after Guinness with a hidden Kazoo in his blowhole... probably thought this will set the scientific world on fire. Whales everywhere are laughing at the U-hole clip (which went viral under the sea a few days ago!) of the human's being duped into hysterical excitement.
"So Long And Thanks for the Fish!"

USA- Trumps the lot of Us for Halloween!

Monday, 22 October 2012

That's what I call making an effort:) Highly Original, is it near Area 51?  Oooo feel a trekky moment coming on.

Boys watch and Learn-Monday Night Entertainment

Perfect for a weeknight:) Download, rent, upload, reload, buy load...:)

Harold Pinter In LegoLand

For the Danglish among us that fancy a bit of "proper" theatre;) Go check this out!
They won't be shouting at you in unpronounceable vowels! Just kidding Lego people, you know your language is what TOWIE is to Shakespeare;) It's not one of the romance languages there's no hiding away from that and how could you when for speed you fart - more of a monty python drinking game of a language:) I can write this quite comfortably as Danes have a terrific sense of ironic humour and they'd be first to admit their mother tongue is like a moss soup to a saffron soufflé! But hell can they make pastry...
Bit of a Foody theme this afternoon. Must seek nibbles now...

France V Britain - Not Napoleonic War but Food?

This has long been a hot bed of contention, who's food is better? Who's chef's are cooler? Having been in Paris last year and eaten at a famous 'Michelin Chef's' restaurant where I can only describe it as abysmal with a hefty price tag, if I can cook better myself then that's pretty terrible, my dinner companion sent back the main and so did a party of French and American's. Honestly I'd never seen such an exodus of main dishes going back to the kitchen in one go.
( I won't name names in fear of liable, slander or all things nasty launching at me with the momentum of furious frogs leaping;)
So putting this down to bad luck try another highly recommended restaurant, equally as shocking as the first and so pricey, the French are slow to adopt changes to their cuisine, so I took a squirmy delight in reading this article;)
Being English born I feel I'm qualified to comment on this, we were brought up with foods of the world, thank heavens. I think you have more diversity in the UK than anywhere else in the world, literally anything goes. But what's ironic here, the best French Chef's are in the UK already enjoying their culinary freedom, I once had dinner here (not paid for by me!) I hope to go back it was just amazing, wonderful, exquisite and yummmmy. If you want the best of French cuisine go to London!
Invitations for Le Gavroche are welcome Monsieur Roux, I can write articles every week for you but of course one must come and taste that tasting menu... BEST Soufflé Suissesse EVER
Maybe the fact that British cuisine was poor (but look at Heston's historical food revivals they're pretty darn hot) maybe that's why as a nation we looked elsewhere for inspiration! Viva la Vindaloo!

USA- Help and Rescue

Even though I got a shocking review you still pummel on with the numbers (HUGE GRATITUDE TO UNCLE SAMMYs), actually the reviewer was rather a nice Lady who had the old (un-proofed copy) so she's updating her version and giving it a second shot, we all deserve second chances... but as women we reserve the right to not fix that as our roof figure. "Limitless quantity" is what we really like otherwise how will we generate our multiplying options, our brains are hard wired to multi-everything!
We Fickle creatures like to change our minds:)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,887 Paid in Kindle Store 
Is anyone over there reading FIGHTING LOVE? Are they in a reviewer mood? Preferably a good one;) If so Thx and may the force be with you xxx

Dita Von Teese Turns Up The Heat

Now that the nights are drawing in, the lighting is set low and moody how about curling up with a romantic book in full anticipation of a rogue visitor? Save on the thermostat and generate your own heat!


Seriously would you get in if your date turned up with this! ? :*{

Da Vinci- Code Breakers make a break through!

Now that's a room I would like to be in when the Eureka moment happens, think Oxford University should study Doctors too!

Tim Burton & Christopher Lee

We all love a bit of Burton's eerily poignant world, but has anyone noticed he looks like a rather lost love child of Christopher Lee. They are quite the podded peas! Hmmm would make sense!


Sunday, 21 October 2012

Copenhagen is under siege from a new type of Banksy... Has TopCat swapped careers? Send me your pics of the Cats if you see them, they're dotted all over the place;)

Nakedness Outrage!

Finally a bit of art for the Ladies and this happens! For centuries we have had boobs and bottoms galore from Ruben to Picasso and back again. Why are men's bits so offensive compared to Lady bits??? Our world is in contradiction to itself! At best scrotums are amusing and jiggly bits have a tendency to lead us into the giggles - all the while taking them in at every angle behind our ticket stubs! (No pervy puns intended... SOG fans!

Saucy Sunday Treats

SO what will I attempt to cook today??? Any guesses? In honour of Mrs Chesworth Masterchef extraordinaire  her inspiration is endless ;)

I-Books Update

Yes, you can download it to your I-Phone !


Noticed I've had a few hits from Nepal, welcome nice to know the roof of the world is popping by. Good Wishes to you and if you're up the mountains have fun and send some breath taking pics over xxx


Lets not forget this upcoming starlet;) This is a site for avid readers and N.W has had a wonderful reception, is it as good as Jane's or Harry's? Read, re-read, upload, download and find out!

GoodReads- Re-reads- Cool

Whoopee, got a lot of re-reading going on so if you haven't read it yet, go read then re-read!!!
Thanks everyone on Goodreads, great site xxx

Women's Fiction Doh...

Still can't broach into the top #10... feel a Homer Simpson moment coming on...HELP EVERYONE otherwise there'll be no doughnuts left in the world

BUY BUY BUY prices will only be kept at this level until I take over Krispy Kreme's

MoMa-New York - Bloggers Hobbies

Many of you might wonder what I get up to when I'm away from the keyboard, apart from writing I make 3-D conceptual art about Mankind's Struggle, this is my latest pop sculpture exhibiting in New York. Tracey Emin beat your heart out, my setting is clean and rather white - Art as in Fashion goes full circle!
If any of you have action men please donate on, I will make a homage to James Bond, of course in the interest of recycling I'll use this mountain as the Villains HQ or shall we put a spin on Thunderbirds go BAD, EVIL and downright NASTY?! 
Interesting Nemesis for Mr Bond... he can always fall for Lady Penelope, get back a bit of retro wooden acting.  Can Mr Bond turn "Hiram K. Hackenbacker" intent on galaxy domination back into Brains? 

New GLOBAL Twitter Followers- HALLO THERE

Saturday, 20 October 2012

Welcome to my new followers... feel free to comment, laugh, interact and enjoy my tweets. They're mostly light hearted until I get a sardonic bee in my bonnet then all rational/irrational hell breaks loose! A bottle is swiftly cracked open and I pour out my thoughts and fears. Then my frequent fumbles on those tiny keys usually making some typo or pressing 'tweet' prematurely cutting my ranting midway actually redeeming what I was meant to write in the first place.
That could be the name of my fourth book!

Star Trek- Style Council

Would I go this far? Well I might if  'Lagerfeld and Manolo's' got onboard!
Can you picture the design competition for the "SCI-FI HAUTE COUTURE AWARDS."
Now I'm in day-dream heaven, what if Karl drew Klingon - Westwood did Westworld - Oscar De La Renta does Odyssey - Valentino on V? 
They could really let their imaginations go, I'd love to see Karl talking about atmospheric challenges v aesthetics, waving his knuckle duster hands in the air while Valentino's pooches pee on moon rocks.
GAULTIER= 5th Element
PACO RABANNE =Barbarella

Miracle Selling - The Feeding of the 14000

Can you make it to the 20000 mark? That's right we're nearing the 14 thousand but who doesn't like round figures! As in life, art we salute you Marilyn M.
20000... Of course you can that's what makes you the best marketing team a girl could wish for, no Don Drapers apart from a few rogues hiding in the books!
Still hanging on that # 12, seems like my ranking in women's fiction needs a laxative. Send a gift to your girlfriends today (cheaper than a card (inc. postage) and a lot more to read!)
I'm on tender hooks to get into that infamous top 10 xxx

12 to 1?

Friday, 19 October 2012

Still at # 12, will I make it down to the TOP 5?  GO everyone and have a good weekend whilst downloading-uploading-toploading-double loading xxxx

Lindsay Lohan Arrest...ing in Role

I could really see Ms Lohan being cast for one of my book characters, which one would you pick for her.
She has troubles but she can act! We all like a bit of naughty girl;)

Naughty Friday Snippet- Fight the Love- Download now for £ 0.77

I yank my hand free. 
‘So you’re up for the round shoulder trip eh! This time I won’t be so gentle.’
The actor throws back his head and laughs.  It’s an attractive laugh, deep, strong and
sexy, just like him. God I’m pathetic. 
‘I don’t bite my nails. I keep them short so not to cause any undue harm to my treasured work 
colleagues. Wouldn’t want to scratch their scrotums now would I?’  I throw a look at Luke for 
‘And very wise too,’ Luke responds swiftly.   ‘We all know just how harmful female nails can 
be on the jiggley bits.’
Alex barks out an almighty guffaw.  It’s evident he shares the same juvenile humour as Luke.  Might as well be in the prep room of a public boys school.  I glare at them both but it has no visible effect, Sam just offers me a sympathetic “boys will be boys” shrug of the shoulders. 
‘I bet that's the first time a woman has swept you off your feet,’ Luke sniggers.

Amazon TOP # 10 Contemporary Romance- ChickLit

Could this possible be the day of hitting the top 10?  Oh please let me get there, it'll make me feel soooo much better.  Riding the waves with the Greys!!!

12MOVING UP ON MANOLOS (A Romantic Comedy)

Conspiracy In Religion

As you know I'm having one of those days (ref-see earlier posts and keep up people!) So whilst washing bed linen and the likes at 6 am this morning I'm now at that spaced out zone quietly contemplating nonsense that seems to be zapping in and out of my goldfish thoughts every 3 milliseconds. With all the different beliefs and diversity in the world is Religion merely a butchers conspiracy to diffuse it's trade? No offence meant. Oops must go and hunt the aubergines/eggplants to you stateside;) I've captured all the portobello mushrooms as they floated down from the fridge skylight with my trusty courgette sword... be afraid be very afraid. Everyone should have a mushroom umbrella it's so on-trend... I'm a rambling mess today!


Two household names that most women aren't adverse to;) I wonder what he'll do for No. 19
... Maybe a dance in Kylie- style hot-pants... maybe more;)
Now that's a commercial that wouldn't get the slightest panning
and would be most probably the most watched on 'YouTube' ever not to mention how many likes FB could get in one hour of airing! (Brad's a bit stilted, get him in the action)
C'mon Chanel give us what we want, you can even make the hot-pants woollen 'haute couture' chequered in style, that way he'll have to take them off, revealing a starry diamond golden thong?
I don't know why "Chanel" don't give me the accessories division, the idea's are rolling off quicker than a merchandisers Disney moment!!!
BTW Chanel please feel free to contact me, I like bags, shoes, clothes, perfume, make-up...DIAMONDS. If you feel like a David Brent presentation, I'm your girl in the jersey sports jacket with the obligatory 2 strands of long flowing pearls of merchandising wisdom;) Scared? No not the great house of Chanel... surely?!!! I Dare you, I very dare you:))))

Daybreak UK Amazonian style

My day is has just got better, after being rudely awoken by my ovaries (uuuuurrgggg- women's sympathy needed here) I've got time to check the rankings... ALL DAY LONG! So keep it up UK! As long as this carries on I'll be pleasant;) (Ladies know the score!)
Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #164 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Google Scare - REally? $19 bill

A send key that was mistakenly punched and this is the reaction (PMT) in the stock exchange?
Why are the stock markets so sensitive. Analysts are creating fear amongst themselves, do they all sit in a room with blacked out windows winding each other up like jumpy horses. Google still in profit, forecasting is a skill best left to weather centres... low and behold they get it wrong too!

Topping Women's Fiction - MUOM Amazon Surprise!

I'm truly gobsmacked after such a "should I be doing this at all day" so thanks everyone, Zac (the penguin with a pacifier of panache) and all of you that continue to support, best ranking for yonks! I'm all energised again... a Captain of the Enterprise moment coming on!!! You made it so xxx
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