HOW TO TRAIN YOUR MOTHER - The Complicated Truth(Truce)

Sunday, 6 March 2016

1. Agree with her sometimes, but don't look her in the eyes - look far away out the window, use a mirror if it's scary.
2. Answer every other phone call, then call her incessantly at 9pm Sunday if you need the next week off!
3. Refuse to discuss next years Christmas arrangements just after Christmas Dinner is served.
4. Never make any of her signature dishes - EVER!
5. Do introduce her to technology, however painful.
6. After 5's fruition, explain instant messaging does not mean instant replying, so the 1st message doesn't need 5 follow-ups about 1-2-3-4-5.
7. After introduction of messaging - fake own death, no doubt your mother will replace the memory space on her phone with terrible photos of the scraggy cat.
8. Agree to do something you would never agree to - your Mum is the best Marketing weapon - automatic ego transferral. You have a new book to promote!
9. Cook her dinner, open season has begun, make sure Yorkshire puddings do not turn out well, bake in a cello of a dish.
10. Enjoy your next cooked Sunday Roast;) No ones is as good as Mums!

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