PURPOSELESS WANDERING IMPROVES WRITING AS YOU WONDER ABOUT THINGS

This weekend I shall be mostly wandering around bluebelled carpeted woods then, unless a tavern entices me in;)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27186709

BRITISH SCRIPTS STINK BBC

Well Mr Stephens, just mail me! I have a few up my non-downtown non merchant-ivory ruffled sleeves.
http://bbc.in/1dtaj40

HOW TO MARKET AN E-BOOK - FOR REAL

Trying to learn how to market your e-book is a minefield of scams. Of course I'd love to write full-time (but pennies pay the wifi bill and nothings left for wine!) but really I want to write not market 24/7.
In my wisdom I googled it - not having half my life to decipher the world of the eeeeeeeeeee-iiiiiiiii marketing bazaar, trying to educate myself was futile. One site I came across offered me a premium service for online exposure. My face closed in on the screen as they were veteran e-marketeers! They will show me the way. So I googled them... why on earth would I part from $108,- to a company who's book is currently on amazon ranks at more or less 2,000.000,- when my own (even on bad days) are up in the 10,000 or 000! I would like to offer that company a 218% increase in their ranking to improve their marketshare. All they have to do is send me $ 218,- !!!

WATCH THIS SPACE READERS .... something is gonna happen. The Easter Bunny is a magical creature indeed, personally I prefer an angry scot rabbit.

IN THE LIBRARY WITH BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH

and doesn't he suit it http://bit.ly/1jbKPza
A former MAN FRIDAY our Mr Sherlock but if you thought he was just another RADA toff prodigy think again, his real life reads like a film script.
Libraries and contemplation spaces... In today's world big renovations are thrown at the open kitchen- diner lounge extensions, no walls no privacy. Our social media worlds reflect how we live.
If I had the pennies I'd make a small circular library at the end of a secret corridor that doubled as a observatory at night. Okay I can't cook so it's just basic pragmatism on my part really! A writer needs solitude for reverie and silence so they can listen to their thoughts.

Maybe the struggling writers should have they're own version of the Garrick Club!

AUSTERITY MEASURES ENFORCED

Do'ya think I'm letting my frustrations fly about too much? 

Thank heaven for Mystery Cartier man.

My answer to todays 'rain on my parade' Darth Vadar killjoy boss... Casually left this on his desk- Cartier Man has made me feel daring darlings!

CUP OF LOVE

Dark winter Mornings ...grrrrr... Nothing cheers you up more than a steamy coffee presented in a brand new mug:) Thanks SB, you know how writers need the light xxx Sunny thoughts in a mug.

TOP Writers Mistakes - Writers On Writing - NY

We can all try and avoid what we're supposed to, but like any writer, sometimes you just get carried away and make all those mistakes in one SUDDEN sentence that surreptitiously nabbed you from within your many minds!!!!! She said ironically with an underlying exasperated tone of glib;)
http://nyti.ms/eohuIo

What is the best price for an E-book?

It's tough when you first start out, no one knows you, how are people going to find out about your book? After a year writing should you put it on for free? Build up a following. Well there is no easy answer, most people write because it's what they want to do full time so it's not easy giving everything away without seeing some tiny reward. But a good way is to do competitions, that way you feel involved with your readers and hopefully generate a little buzz around your novel. You know that novel that took tears, your sleep, sweat, caffeine, all of your social life, and cheap nasty wine because you can't afford anything else because your book went up for free! Bit of a chicken and Egg conundrum.
One thing is, keep at it and do what you feel is right, if it's meant to be you'll be rewarded somehow:)
I have now been up since 4am, is that a smlog? Stupid O'clock Morning Start + Blogging.
Did warn you I might do this splice theme all day...

Have a Dickens of a Christmas at F&M

Tiny Tim would appreciate a few more sells here:) Yes I'm referring to myself as Tiny Tim sad yet true!
Isn't this just quintessentially British, day dreaming over dullard data again...
Please Guv'nor no more spreadsheets!
http://view.designtakeaway.co.uk/?vcabid=hlhSenhjcSclgcegl&count=17/10/2013%2010:51:44-1
I dream of a land where all I do is 100 % writing stopping for a lush lunch of course;) Today's cup-a-soup just didn't cut the mustard.... in the words of classic Bros, "When will I, will I be famously published? Can you answer, can you answer that?"
"When will I get my books on Regent Street?"
'I won't answer I won't answer that!"
Shit, that song's gonna be in my head all afternoon now. Better sneak into the stationary cupboard and eat biscuits to keep my sanity buzzed in.

Coffee News for Writers

Thank heavens! Nothing more off putting than a healthy holier than thou holistic writer, where would the fun be in the books!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24621394

Shameless Self Promoting - the basics!

I've never understood the "pinlig-ness" (as my Danish friends would say) problem of being a self promoter, yes sometimes your trumpet has got a bit of a turnip stuck in it, yes it's embarrassing when you can't hit a note or read the flipping music in the first place.
As for the self published author, it's the only way- and not to Essex or Rome! 
A bit of self belief is still so terribly un-English, but those small successes hit you like a tsunami wave so you have to surf it while it's still frothing so to speak, far outweighing that shameless PR machine you inevitably become- like it or not!   When you've given up your wee hours and all weekends to write your first novel and its taken over a year, you tend to spin off and surf it all over the web.
SO thanks all and thanks for dropping by here, whatever way you've got here. xxx

Shades of Grey-Top Earning Authors 2013

Still not grumbling about SOG knocking me out of the top 10 in women's fiction, if there hadn't been a trilogy MUOManolo's would have been No. 7- which would.. I believe been quite lucky for me!
No not grumbling... grrrrrrr
But gives hope to all us self published authors, who now say no to the publishing houses who said no to us in the 1st. place!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23681220

GINGER PRIDE at Edinburgh Fringe Festival

We should all march for what we are proud of:)
Anyone up for the "Wine Saturated insecure Author Parade of ebbing Pride'?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23643831

JK Rowling pseudonym

Well in the peak MUOM was selling 160 a day, so this article makes me feel better, although having a PR machine which (mistakenly!) revealed the true author is something I don't possess.....
GOOD PR... whoops a leak which accelerates my book sales to kingdom come, yeah what a shame and how annoying! (NOT)
Grrrr.... but I'm having a 5* day xxx :)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23430857

Friday Launch v Plastic Plates

I'm not asking for great riches just enough to buy grown up crockery & more CHEESE!

Recipe courtesy from a struggling Authoress !

CRUMPET EYES

HIDDEN MARMITE GOO (undercover centre) COVERED IN STILTON

OLIVE IRIS'S -GREEN AND BLACK (FOR BOWIE EFFECT)

GHERKIN NOSE

STILTON RING CHEESY SMILEY MOUTH

FOR FURTHER stringent RECIPES CHECK OUT 

"NINA.WHYLE@where-the F***is WLGP-sales!" 

Recommeneded by Quaffing Food.com

How to Combat Writers Block!

Don't think of it as a block more of a small fairy barricade and we all know fairies build out of fluffy clouds and glittery magic! It's where they get their merchant discounts. Yes we're all on a economy drive... a weekends entertainment for less than £,$,€ 1...
by jove I'm better than Tesco's!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=nina+whyle&sprefix=nina+w%2Caps%2C263

SOLD - 17 thousand, 9 hundred and Eleven!

Not a great month for me in sales;( but nearly 18000 books sold altogether, always look on the bright side! But while you're there gift a book or 2 to a friend would you pls. you lovely lovely people, otherwise it'll be a Tiny Tim Xmas for me:( & Cratchit Whyle won't get a happy ending!
Thank you all xxx

ANYONE FANCY JOINING THE RANKING RALLY

I just don't know what else to do, I'm torn between Book 3 and my plummeting rankings:( I know blogging n' all is part of keeping in touch with your followers, readers and I do "twitter" on so Twitter is practically my natural habitat;)
But I was wondering if we can kick start the sales again in one go and if you kind ladies (&gents) would do a rally tomorrow and gift a copy of one of my books to your friends.
"Utter cheek, this is an OUTRAGE!" I hear you cry, has this woman no shame?! Well no... not anymore it's giving me writers block, so again another chicken and egg situation.
(How will I write those saucy scenes without that exuberance of delusional confidence a writer has to be carried away with). And take a look at these rankings compared to 2 weeks ago, my presidential campaign has backfired like a cheap replica of megatron !

• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #978 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
• #41 in Books > Fiction > Women Writers & Fiction
• LOOK IT HAS 22 REVIEWS AVERAGING 4 *'s
• Now all of you know how difficult it is to get reviews when Your own mother won't even participate!
• "How's the writing going? And your proper job!?!!!"
• 
  
• FIGHTING LOVE
• • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #2,518 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

How the Internet ignites Independence!

A lot of people fear for our computer reliant world, even say globalisation and homogenised thinking is seeping out of it's fibre optics. But what it has done is open up a quirky marketplace for creative people who would have otherwise been trapped in the corporate world of spreadsheets and presentations, growing greyer and greyer by the day as their only remaining highlight was the actual use of highlighter pens.
People too shy to approach the wider market for fear of rejection and ridicule have found their outlet online. Of course my own publishing journey is not a far jump and skip from this. I did hound publishers only to be told you have to have an agent and agents saying you have to be published. The most frustrating chicken and egg game ever, so much so I took the plunge and went the kindle way. (OK the access to 7 editors would have been handy and quite frankly save me several (cough)
"I'm so sorry" mails until the updated versions came along) but the internet has had a positive butterfly effect.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19599168

Proven Writers Block Remedies-Pyjama's & Embarrassing BedHair?

Right that's it, I'm staying in my rather mismatched pyjama's and atrocious nest of hair until I reach 70.000 words... Is that how you beat writer's block? Fear of Fashion and horror of someone seeing you pre hair product manipulation, Kate Bush and the seventies has nothing on me this morning? What on earth did I dream about to produce such a matted mess at the back.
Not only does it pain me to look at the clashing colours of Gingham bottoms and recently stained (Ok an oversight in the colour load of the weeks washing) off white chic T-shirt? But my hair needs a barrage of conditioner to get my avatar dreadlock out at the back, this little appendage certainly doesn't talk to the animals, it could cause a major breakdown in the bio-neural network, I fear it will sizzle and fry the HomeTree. Now I will force myself to look my visitors in the face and explain why I might qualify for sectioning. I'm a bad girl indeed.