NOW 17368 SOON 20,000 - Pretty please?

Like any writer when they see sales and ranking plummet nearly to half from one month to the next they get really (cataclysmically) disheartened. But these little figures cheered me up when I added them together in my secret sassy spreadsheet hidden behind some banal P & L that I ought to take a look at at some point!
We have to get better at sales before I can leave the grey dull world of spreadsheets all together and concentrate on these lovely pink ones. I promise to give myself pep talks and make you trade reports each week if YOU, the BRFFP (Best Readers, Followers, Fans and Public) become my bosses! I tried for a clever BFG ref there but couldn't think of anything but Gangnam and Girlfriends... and not all my readers are ladies;) Don't want to do a Mitt and exclude half the planet!

17368 books sold! Wow thanks guys and girls. I know you've been spreading the word literally and electronically. My goal is to get to 20000 this month, anyone wanna help me? You will get a brilliant BOOK 3 if my mood lightens and sales fly!
Remember all there is updated versions if you bought at the very beginning xxx